Restarting a blog has given me one positive so far . It has made me sit quietly for 30 minutes while I write. This afternoon I am sitting on my back deck enjoying a cup of tea with my new buddy Beaudon lying at my feet. The Tui birds are singing and the fan tails are darting around the trees.
Slowing down the pace is very inviting. Staying out of the gym is also very pleasing. I have no urge at all to train. I feel so completely shattered, the last few years have hit me like a wrecking ball and I am having trouble rebuilding myself. You know when you have those days where you want a clean slate, you want to move countries and start over where no one knows you . …. well that feeling has lasted a month so far.
I am definitely over the shit that comes with bodybuilding and training athletes. And I am also over the attitude of some competitors you meet and watch . It appears to me now as such a shallow experience. Gone are the days of meeting inspiring drug free athletes with a great life story. It is rare now to find people who do the sport for the right reasons. It is not motivating or uplifting to me anymore.
I prefer to be inspired by the athlete who lost a limb protecting his country and seeing him work his ass off keeping himself mentally and physically strong. I prefer to watch people with disabilities learn to walk again, learn to do the things that most take for granted. These humans are incredible. So I have pushed all the bullshit away now and it will be so refreshing to be inspired and humbled from folk in other areas of life.
One element of my life I am enjoying is training our Husky. The goal is for him to be an assistant dog for my daughter Eva. This pup is so big already and boy oh boy is he smart. So far he has learnt to do the basic sit, down, shake hands and moved onto opening and closing cupboards and even skate boarding. I pencil in an hour each day to do lead work with him. Teaching him to heel, walk backwards, turn and follow in whatever direction I go in. He is such a sweetheart and hates being alone, he always has to curl up with one of us.
The nights before my daughter ended up being rushed to Wellington hospital Beaudon kept coming and getting me and leading me into Eva’s room. He would jump up on her bed and place his head on her leg. I didnt realise at the time that he was trying to tell me about the infection. We know he picks up on her complex partial seizures but this was amazing. He is still not 1 year old yet so his potential is exciting.
Dogs are very cool to hang out with, they live in the moment. It’s a highlight in my day to work with him.
Well the warmth of the day is subsiding and my tea cup is empty. My motivation to move is only urged on by the chill hitting my legs. My enthusiasm to be productive is low, most likely due to stress and being sick but I will get myself out of this chair and into to kitchen to start cooking dinner as my favorite TV show “Wentworth ” starts tonight and it will be the highlight of my week .
To those taking the time to read these Wednesday Words …..thank you.