Tuesday’s Therapy

I have been asked many times over the last few months why I took Eva to Wellington for her Tibia redirection surgery. Our local Orthopedic Doctor made mistakes in her first operation which was a simple botox injection into the calf to help her heel touch down as with Cerebral palsy they tend to tip toe. The botox was meant to last 3-4months but for some unknown reason it has stayed down and the calf no longer fires much at all. They put Eva to sleep for this operation, injected the calf then stretched it to the max and put her leg in a cast. I believe the Doctor over stretched and snapped the Achilles. I asked about this and he said “she would of screamed in pain if I did that” I said , But she was put to sleep??? He had no answer after that. The Wellington Team said it was a highly unusual outcome that they had not seen before.

When we had appointments with this doctor after the fact he was to busy playing candy crush game on his phone to even bother to be fully present. So when the next surgery was suggested we asked for the amazing Wellington team to do it. This caused me so much stress as our local doctor and hospital tried everything to stop it from happening even emailing the Wellington team with nasty emails.

I laid an official compliant and followed through with our Wellington plan. The Orthopedic Team have been incredible. And Their physio team also is incredible.

Unfortunately Eva developed an infection beside the surgery site months after it had been done. No doctors etc here picked up on it even though I kept presenting Eva to them. Eventually our family GP was back from an absence and he got straight on the phone to the Wellington team and we were sent straight back down to Wellington hospital. From there the doctors were still amazing, they operated and removed the metal ware and bolts and cleaned up the infection. We were very lucky that it had not quite got into the bone.

We were then on the ward for another week of IV antibiotics and then sent home with oral tabs for 8 weeks.

This week we rushed Eva back to the GP as the same site flared up again. Our GP added another antibiotic to the mix and so far so good.

We are off to Wellington again next week for a check up, hopefully we don’t get sent down any sooner. And I am hoping we dont end up living on the ward again for more IV Antibiotics.

So that is the story of Eva’s hospital stays lately. I know lots of you have been messaging to check on her.

Unfortunately we have all come down sick with the flu since returning. All part of living in a hospital ward full of sick children.

If you have ever lived on a hospital ward or stayed in a Ronald Macdonald house for families with sick kids, you will know how it changes your views on life. You talk to parents with dying children, you talk to husbands who are waiting to see if their wife and baby survive, you hear very sad, soul destroying real life stories. Everything changes.

You come home and People moaning about materialistic stuff just make you sick. People angry because of the rain outside or having to work an extra few hours one day is just so pathetic. People who are self absorbed are no longer tolerated.

You hold your kids tighter and make sure they know you love them. You appreciate being at home living semi normal and not stuck in a hospital. Dropping your kids at school is a treat not a chore and picking them up again is an absolute blessing.

To all those families who have these real life struggles….I wish you all the courage and guts in the world….I send you bucket loads of hope and love. You deserve to break down and cry, you deserve to scream and yell and let it all out because that is REAL STRESS.

And I pray that everything works out well for you xx.

Monday’s Mood

My first try at blogging again since I canceled my website due to a useless domain host.

It’s been probably a few years since I put my thoughts down on paper. A very long 2 years and probably the most important time to actually get my thoughts out and into the universe. God knows I am stuck big time, unsure of what to do or where to go from here regarding some issues. I feel like I am running out of time to finally solve this case . I also know I am being way too nice and considerate, not wanting to hurt or upset others . This is jeopardizing my results for sure.

Fighting against the loyalty that I feel I have to show towards some people even though relationships are forever changed.

That’s the thing about lies, deceit and dishonesty…..they take a toll on the person who is behaving this way but also on the person at the receiving end.

So Monday has rolled around and I am only half of who I should be. 2 years of deception taking its toll on me. Avoidance hasn’t worked, acknowledgment hasn’t worked, and I can’t simply avoid it.

So I am sitting here gazing at the ocean and telling myself these 3 facts:

My beautiful daughter and me

I am innocent

I am worth it

I belong here.

As the waves roll and crash onto the sand I promise myself that I will not give up.

45 years of seeking answers, loved ones found and lost , yet still I will not give up. The time is coming where I will have to scream it from the roof tops and hope the right person hears it and answers me.

Monday’s Mood……..pessimistic šŸ¤”