Monday’s Mood

My first try at blogging again since I canceled my website due to a useless domain host.

It’s been probably a few years since I put my thoughts down on paper. A very long 2 years and probably the most important time to actually get my thoughts out and into the universe. God knows I am stuck big time, unsure of what to do or where to go from here regarding some issues. I feel like I am running out of time to finally solve this case . I also know I am being way too nice and considerate, not wanting to hurt or upset others . This is jeopardizing my results for sure.

Fighting against the loyalty that I feel I have to show towards some people even though relationships are forever changed.

That’s the thing about lies, deceit and dishonesty…..they take a toll on the person who is behaving this way but also on the person at the receiving end.

So Monday has rolled around and I am only half of who I should be. 2 years of deception taking its toll on me. Avoidance hasn’t worked, acknowledgment hasn’t worked, and I can’t simply avoid it.

So I am sitting here gazing at the ocean and telling myself these 3 facts:

My beautiful daughter and me

I am innocent

I am worth it

I belong here.

As the waves roll and crash onto the sand I promise myself that I will not give up.

45 years of seeking answers, loved ones found and lost , yet still I will not give up. The time is coming where I will have to scream it from the roof tops and hope the right person hears it and answers me.

Monday’s Mood……..pessimistic 🤔

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